WOMEN

"When I am assertive, I'm a bitch, but when a man is assertive he's a boss."-Nicki Minaj

There have been countless of blogs that I have written, but have not finished. The blog that I want to write right now is one that has been haunting me forever, something that I really want you all to know, but I want it to be perfect; as I am typing it, my thoughts are racing about all the things I want to say. It's so simple yet so complicated at the same time; everyone feels misunderstood at some time in life, the key is moving on from it, but how can you when the people you work with do not support you or believe in you?

I never really understood what people thought about the double standard in women before I came to Mankato, and especially before last year, I never understood what people meant about racism and discrimination still being alive; I grew up all over the cities, and while my life was not hard, I can say that I had my own personal demons. But the problems I delt with coming to college were ones totally different.

Why do people feel like I cannot succeed? Why do people not understand that the things they see me doing is only half of what I do?

I am not an actor, I do not pretend to be something that I am not, maybe this is the reason taht people find me annoying, growing up, this is something that was hailed as a strength, and now I come to mankato, and after the year that i have had last year and this year, it is looked on as a weakness.

I leave you with this readers: my total and utter frustration. I want you to know I don't think its fair that I am supposed to be looked at as "dainty." I hate that there is more pressure on me to finish a task, I hate that there are people who just sit there, hope that I fail, and criticize me, and when I succeed, they complain, but lick their fingers and benefit from my hard work. I hate that.

Im complaining, and I know that.

I think this is part of some "process" or something. I already feel better writing this out. While simply complaining wont do anything, action will. I just want to continue being a hard worker, and even if I have to work 10 times as hard as the person next to me, I know I'll get where I want to be. Without complaining. :)

Now you know a little more about the inside workings of me:)